I've had a fantastic weekend without my family.
The highlight? 5 hours in sizzler by myself. All by myself. A couple of hundred people moved in and out around me, but no-one spoke to me. And no-one sat at my table. I only had a few plates of food (mostly salad) over the time. After an hour and a half a waitress came and gave me mints and said thanks for coming. It was a hint to leave which I politely ignored.
I could see people looking at me curiously. Why was I by myself? What was I doing with a pencil in my hand and 3 books open in front of me? What was I writing? Why wasn't I eating? One couple felt sorry for me. I felt sorry for them. They didn't have anything to read and they had to talk to eachother.
Selfish? Maybe. But on Saturday I carefully read 5 chapters of the bible, studied about 50 hymns, listened to 2 sermons and 2 lectures on songwriting and wrote a three verse one chorus lyric. On top of that I went to the gym, took the dog for a walk and cleaned the house.
On Sunday I had a social day: church, a friend over for a long lunch, a jog, and take-away Indian and a movie with the camping widows at night.
Today I wrote my material for Twist Away next weekend. I'm running the songwriting strand.
Andrew and the kids came home at 2pm and my parents dropped in for a visit. The boys were dirty (it was very muddy and no baths or even changes in underwear had taken place over the weekend (ew!)) and so keen to tell me about how they fished a dead calf out of the river (ew) and got covered in leeches and ticks.
I'm pleased to have them home and am buzzing with the great feeling that comes from having had lots of cave time. Am I selfish? Am I an introvert?
Am I selfish? Am I an introvert?
ReplyDeleteConsidering that being selfish and being an introvert are synonymous? ;)
But, though I know you weren't saying that, it wouldn't be such a bad question.
I've found myself that I can easily let being introverted become a selfish thing. I'm not quiet and alone in order to spend reflective time seeking God (as you did) or get tasks He has set me done (as you did), but simply for my own pleasure.
On the flip side, extroverts can use relationships for their own fun. They're not at the party to serve God and others, but to be in the limelight.
Introverts are energised through being alone. Extroverts are energised through being with others. Provided the former don't become depressed monastics and the latter don't become shallow manipulators, there's nothing inherently selfish about either.
[Sorry for the rant... :)]
nah, not selfish. It's not bad to savour those windows of time out (that's what you told me about my conan comics, anyway. I've taken that ball and ran with it).
ReplyDeleteI only know you thru bloggingham, but I wouldn't think you were an introvert. Liking to be alone for a couple of days is different to liking to be alone for big long stretches.