I was over at a friend's place last week. The kids played and I watched my friend spend over 3 hours in the kitchen baking and preparing food for visitors coming the next day.
I was amazed at her serenity and contentedness. How can somebody be calm and happy when cooking is taking up so much of their time? (I'd just go down to woolworths, buy a couple of bbq chickens and then do something else.) Does my friend cook happily because she is more godly than me? Because she loves her family more than I love mine?
By the time I left I was thinking to myself, "She must feel so frustrated. She's worked hard all day and has got nothing done!"
Then I caught myself. Nothing?!? Actually, she has made a magificent birthday cake, a pavlova and numerous other things. Why doesn't that count in my mind?
Then I came up with my theory.
The main-game theory.
The main game is an activity that gives a day purpose. The main game will differ from individual to individual and may change over time. A person may have several main games, but engagement in a main game is necessary for an individual to feel that she has accomplished something.
My friend was happy because for her cooking was the main game. The day had purpose and meaning. She had achieved the main game.
Cooking is not the main game for me. I could make six fantastic birthday cakes (actually, I couldn't) and I still wouldn't feel that the day was redeemed. My main game is something else.
What is the main game for you? What do you rush through in order to engage in it?
Cooking can frequently be a 'main thing' for me, but at times it isn't and is something I rush through (or avoid by reheating something from the freezer)to achieve the current 'main thing'.
ReplyDeleteCleaning the house is never a 'main thing' for me.
Doing activities that involve doing stuff with other people (eg. playgroup, catching up for coffee, bible study etc.) are always a 'main thing' for me - I will always rush though any other task in order to achieve this category of 'main things'.
Getting stuff done off my list is my main thing. Especially to achieve things that are 'not work' (I'm a real work before play girl, which is probably why I never get to the play) like sewing or craft.
ReplyDeleteNot sure what my current main game is at the moment, having just moved back to the "great south east", however, maybe your friend genuinely likes cooking as an activity. Personally, I'm happy enough to cook cakes and biscuits but main meals are Ian's domain. The beautiful thing for us is that he genuinely enjoys cooking (although I wouldn't say that it's his main game).
ReplyDeleteI have no problem with my friend enjoying cooking! I'm glad she does. But I don't need to feel that she has been engaging in a particularly virtuous activity - she was doing what she loved doing. So I don't need to feel bad because I don't like that.
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